How to Eat an Entire Bag of Cheese Curds in 24 Hours Or Less

1. Upon leaving work, call home to check on the progress of dinner. 2. Talk to husband, who reports that the beef roast in the crock pot looks a little tough. 3. Ask husband to more thoroughly define "a little tough." Listen as he tells you that he is unable to cut into it. Make mental note to find out how to make a beef roast in a crock pot. 4. Go to local grocery store in search of a new dinner. 5. Spy freshly made cheese curds that haven't even been refrigerated yet. Imagine the squeak. Drool a little. Wipe your mouth and glance around to make sure nobody noticed. 6. Summon all your willpower and *walk past the cheese curds*. 7. Locate dinner in the store. Loop back around the entire store to look at the cheese curds. Pick them up. Put them down. Pick them up again. Curse the evil marketing powers that be who placed them smack in the center of the aisle to create situations just like this. 8. Buy the bag. Justify this by telling yourself that you are going to share with your husband and children. 9. Eat cheese curds all the way home. Delight in each squeaky bite. Justify this by telling yourself that you didn't have time to eat lunch at work and are simply replacing those missed calories. 10. Offer some to your husband and son when you arrive home, but don't let them hold the bag. Dole out 2 cheese curds to each. Justify this by telling yourself that the snack is not good for your husband or your son and you are protecting their health by limiting their intake. 11. Eat some as you make dinner. Justify this by reminding yourself that you had to make not one but two dinners this evening and you deserve a little treat. 10. Hide them in the back of the fridge so that nobody can find them. Justify this by telling yourself that you are keeping them out of easy reach so that you don't keep eating them. 11. Wonder why you are not hungry at dinner. 12. Eat cheese curds for a bedtime snack. Justify this by telling yourself that you didn't eat much dinner. 13. Go to bed. 14. Wake up. 15. Eat cheese curds for breakfast. Justify this by telling yourself that you need protein for the run you are going to take later that day. 16. Eat some for a morning snack. Justify this by telling yourself that you need to replace the calories you burned while running. 17. Eat some for a mid-mid morning snack. Justify this by telling yourself that those calories you expended while nursing aren't just going to replace themselves. 18. Decide to put cheese curds on the table for lunch to share with your family. Remove the bag from the fridge and realize with horror that there are only *three* cheese curds left. Eat them to hide the evidence. 19. Mentally review the situation. Sadly conclude that you can never, ever buy fresh cheese curds again.